John Latschar-The Defenses

If John Latschar, the superintendent of Gettysburg National Park, needs a defense, it's right now. The man was just cited for downloading over 3,400 pornographic images on his work computer.

If this case went to trial, let's try to imagine what his defense lawyer would say. This is where creative lawyering comes into play.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, yes, my client downloaded Internet porn. However, it was Civil War Internet porn. That's right. He downloaded those images to help us understand a little-known aspect of the conflict. How can you fault my client for attempting to make the Gettysburg viewing experience even more meaningful?"

Then, we get to his attorney's second line of defense.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution has introduced evidence that my client actually downloaded contemporary porn. That is also true. Nevertheless, once again, his conduct goes back to the Civil War. He was doing a comparative study of contemporary and Civil War pornography."

Sounds a bit absurd, but sometimes a lawyer has to protect the guilty. Folks, I sincerely hope the recession will end at Gettysburg National Park and a superintendant's job will open up very soon.